Have you ever make a little mistake and the aftermath gets out of control. Your thoughts go round and round your head, you are really hard on yourself you are unable to let it go. This then spirals out of control and the situation feels way worse than the reality. Then you are trying to make up for said mistake and as you are feeling self conscious or anxious then are unable to think clearly and make your way through it.
A client was exploring this after making an error at work – nothing major but they found it hard to move on. It needed a closer look.
Guess what happened?
When the art was nearly complete it wouldn’t stick together and completely fell apart even though it was a seemingly simple process. The art reflecting life gave us an opportunity to unpack its meaning. Their reaction was priceless – they got the giggles and couldn’t stop laughing, a very different reaction to what had happened at work. In this release they were able to recognise that the art reminded them that they could let it go and don’t need to stay in their harsh analysis of self – that we are all human and that means that we make human ‘mistakes’ – and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad person.
This week I have also witnessed a very public misunderstanding online and boy did the haters come out to play. No wonder you can be extra hard on yourself when others get nasty and attack personally. I won’t enter into the dynamics of this particular situation, but the harshness showed up on steroids from the keyboard critics. It’s no wonder why your mind can spin out of control when things don’t go to plan or we have a moment of misjudgement, emotion or error.
I would like to challenge everyone who sat behind their keyboard and took a jab – where does your reaction come from? What is driving it? What is that emotional charge about for you? How can you work through what is happening for you when you have such a viscous reaction? Of course you can have an opinion but to criticise in such a personal poisonous way says more about you, your projections (we all have them!) and what you need to take a closer look at than those that you are attacking.
We judge ourselves for being human and not having it perfect all the time – those messages have come from somewhere (often early in life) and I fear that we living in a place where being perfect is the expectation – I hate to burst your bubble but life is not like that. First and foremost you are human – and none of us have it all together all of the time.
We could all take a bit from my clients art work – at the end it was powerful as the pieces that stuck together formed a heart shape. Yep that’s what we need – a lot more love to ourselves and those around us. Let’s remember that we are all human, and we need to be given some slack sometimes.