This was deleted!

May 4, 2016

While I was away in NZ I made a little vid to give you an idea of what I was getting out of the trip. And you know what, I accidently deleted it – yep its disappeared into the atmosphere. Gone. finished, no longer to be seen.  Here is a pic of the backdrop – pretty nice.

It was a ripper, I was going to do a series but pulled myself up on it and decided to just do the one (shhh I may or may not have snuck another in). Its quite ironic that one of the big learnings while being away was having space and being present to whatever is happening. It would have been great to show you, but its not the end of the world and probably a bit fat reinforcing message from the universe.

The space that was created on the trip reminded me of how I pack so much into my life that there really isn’t any room for me. Time is absorbed by being fully present for my clients/workshops, thinking about business all the time, taking photos for a post, what schedules I need to keep, what I plan to put up on insta and facey, what thing I need to run to next, whose news I needed to catch up on, the next thing to learn or places that I could be. One of the greatest things was having no internet!

While away in nature, I made a conscious effort to be in the moment and tried to absorb the beauty, the experience that was happening right before my eyes – its was bloody hard to see and absorb all that was in front of me as it was so beautiful that it didn’t seem real – I didn’t even take many pics as I can get a little distracted by getting the perfect shot and wanted to discover what was there with every step.

By creating some space, some really big stuff also reared its head. That deep personal stuff that is ignored due to the busyness of life, the things that are easy to pretend aren’t there but at some point in time need to come to the surface. In some ways I don’t really know what it was about, but I knew I needed to do some processing around it. Ideally you would have another art therapist guide you through this but considering I couldn’t just pluck one out of thin air, I allowed a process evolve for myself.

I will explain it more in another post and wont bore you with the details now, but I was reminded to let go of all this crap and breaking it into pieces is the symbolism that touches a space that is beyond conscious thought, beyond words and accesses that deep dark well inside that is wanting to be emptied. That place where things are held ‘safe’ for no one to see but can leak out through various behaviours, attitudes and projections. A place that no one really wants to go, but ignoring it isn’t working either. It needs to come out and be seen so that it can be understood and sent packing to go on its way so you can free yourself from it holding you back anymore. Something was broken down in NZ that will help me step into the future with one of the biggest reminders is that creating space is a wonderful thing to do, whether it be for nourishment, to ponder and reflect, to confront, let go or transition to the next phase – being distracted from yourself is no way to life your life.