I don’t think anyone is immune to feeling like the drama and reactivity is amplified right now.
We’re all being bombarded with messages of fear and uncertainty, which, if we don’t pause and notice, tend to manifest as reaching for control.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve experienced an unusually high number of interactions where the opportunity for genuine collaboration and connection was controlled, owned, or dominated by one voice or one narrative.
A creative process that could have been genuinely connective, but was instead dominated by the facilitator’s voice (literally and figuratively), which drowned out everyone and made it an individual performance rather than a collective one
An anxious leader bombarding a team member, overlaying their frantic energy and control before a meeting, so they arrived heightened and activated.
A very public emotional outpouring that entirely overpowered the opportunity to have an important conversation.
A facilitated conversation where the chair couldn’t resist talking at the group, providing their own experiences, examples, and “fix it” solutions instead of holding space for the collective conversation.
…
I’m the first to admit there are times I’ve been the dodgy participant in the room (20+ years as a therapist means I’m often the one at the table asking all the questions!). I’m also the person who spent a long drive to Yankalilla last week looking for ‘glimmers’ and regulating so I could bring the best version of myself into a workshop – not the disregulated, post-meltdown version of myself that had left home.
But here’s the thing… I think we’re at a point where we all need to become a bit more self-aware about our reactions, the need for control, wanting to know everything, needing to be seen, and dominating a room all impact our opportunities to explore the other valuable experiences, views, ideas, and solutions that may exist in that space.
Some of the questions I’d love us all to ask ourselves when we bring people together, whether it’s for a meeting, a training, a networking event, a conference or any other reason, are:
💙 What energy is needed from me right now? And is that what I’m bringing?
💙 Do I need to be quiet and wait?
💙 Do I need to ditch the script and go where the conversation is taking us?
💙 What’s getting in the way of my curiosity?
💙 Can I hold the uncertainty without needing to fix it, own it, or fill it?
There is so much power in connecting, generating thought, sitting in curiosity together, and collectively moving something forward. But that cannot happen if one person is filling the room and trying to control everything.
I’d love to know if you’ve ever noticed the energy shift or something land differently when you (or someone else) has created space to be with people rather than at them?
Here’s to a week of not being the only voice in the room.
Bel
Every Sunday afternoon, Bel sends the Ignite community a personal note of encouragement – reflection, inspiration, stories, and sharing. It’s our way of helping you prepare for the week ahead. Add your details here to receive Here’s The Thing in your inbox.