Pretending its all good

Ignite Life
May 25, 2014

Often we pretend that all is well, that we have it all together and try and portray to the outside world that all is wonderful. Well, I am going to let you in on little secret and want to burst that perfection bubble.

From the outside, other peoples may look like something out of a designer fashion magazine but from the inside there can be self-doubt, pressure to perform and insecurity just like anyone else. I often see this in my art therapy room, people struggling with trying to live up to expectations – it is just too much to handle and it becomes harder and harder to wear that mask.

Correct me if I am wrong, self-doubt exists in everyone even though it comes in varying degrees and in different forms

Does this sound familiar…

Getting so worried about what others think that when you make a mistake you continuously beat yourself up over it

Feeling inadequate when you are surrounded by what you perceive as got it all together type people

Telling yourself that you are nothing, stupid, ugly, etc

Feeling guilty when things come easily as you need to work hard in order for it to be valuable

Spending countless hours focussing on ‘small’ things so they are perfect

Changing so that people will like you

Putting everyone elses needs before yourself

Feeling like you are invisible and don’t matter

Being overwhelmed with all of the things you needs to do

Having to justify why you do things the way you do

Comparing yourself to the’ Jones’

Being scared to do what you want to do

Feeling like you owe others for your success

Having the pressure of being perfect mother

Needing to score HD in every assignment

Telling yourself that you are left out and everyone else gets what they want

That you have to be all professional and not be yourself!

These messages and behaviours get in the way. Its like we send a message to ourselves that we are not good enough and need to be a certain way. This then makes is feel smaller and we can have moments of being stuck, wanting to run away or feeling like we need to fight back.

Somehow we need to change these patterns to be positive for ourselves, so that we can be in our own lives and be the best version of ourselves. It is quite liberating when you have moments of not worrying about what others think or just doing it anyway.

To date I haven’t been too specific about what ’Ignite Your fire’ workshop is about but here it is. It is about transforming those things that make us feel small and building more confidence. Yes that’s right – getting more confidence. It can have a different focus for everyone but it’s about finding the things that make you feel like you are on fire, and burning those that don’t. I only have a couple of spots left so secure your place and get more info at

Moving on for the shameless plug… This is a serious matter – there are so many people that have so much potential and are holding themselves back. Its not just about changing a few dialogues in your head, or being positive all the time. It is about understanding why these patterns are there and kicking them in the butt so that you get to a point where they are a distant memory. And when they come to visit you can immediately pack their bags and send them on their way. That’s what I hope for my clients and am looking forward to seeing what happens in Friday’s workshop.

Have a great week