It started with the odd person telling me they’d seen something or other I’d posted on Instagram, then friends would make comment about how business must be booming, until last week when every person I spoke to started our conversation with “Bel, I can’t believe you’re so busy”.
I’m not going to lie, it make me feel me very uncomfortable to have the “busy badge” pinned to me.
In my attempt to normalise that we all experience times of challenge or distress, to share how creative inquiry can help professionals with stress, overwhelm and the mental load, and to connect as humans, I’ve been showing up more than usual on the socials (and we all know if it didn’t happen on the socials it didn’t happen at all!), and it actually did what I work really hard NOT to do.
It has taken a while to be conscious of this , but here’s the thing….
As a general rule I make a point of not just not looking busy but actually, NOT being busy at all. I don’t even use the word “busy”, preferring instead to say “I’m full” at times where I mentally, physically or emotionally just can’t fit another thing in (and it can also be short for fulfilling!).
It really gets under my skin that at some point being “ busy” became synonymous with success; that many people have been led to believe the more we cram into our day the more successful we’ll be (or the more successful we’ll appear to be).
We walk around believing “busy” is a badge of honour – a state to be celebrated or aspire to – when in reality what I experience day in day out is busy people don’t usually feel successful – they feel exhausted and overwhelmed and burnt out.
This week I’ve been thinking, what if we started handing out badges for the other things we do that are kinder, more productive, and help make us better humans. Would we do more of them?
I’d love gold stars to be handed out for things like:
· Going home on time
· Having a lunch break
· Taking a mental health day
· Acknowledging a vulnerable person
· Creating a safe workplace
· Being totally present when spending time with others
· Turning our phones off when out to dinner
· Prioritising rest and relaxation
· Showing compassion to someone whose stress response wasn’t their finest moment
· Saying no, or it’s not a priority, or I really don’t want to – even when it’s difficult
· Being playful, and fun, and laughing out loud
· Shifting a reaction instead of sinking into stress
I’d love you to hit reply and tell me what you’d give yourself a badge for achieving this week.
Maybe it’s something you always do that nobody seems to recognise, or perhaps it’s something you’ve been meaning to do for a while but you’ve been too busy being busy to get around to it.
Here’s to being well.
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