Years ago I was a participant in a workshop where the rule was simple: the small group could only ask questions of the person in the hot seat. No advice. No opinions. Just questions.
When it came my turn, one question landed so hard I still think about it:
“Why are you apologising for what you do?”
Over the past couple of weeks, I was reminded of that question all over again when I had the opportunity to co-facilitate with the host from that workshop. What a full circle moment to share the room with Mary Freer, someone who I admire and respect enormously.
Once upon a time, the critical me, the one who was constantly apologising for what I did (yes, there was a good reason someone asked that question!), would have shown up on that day. The one that at every opportunity convinced herself that she needed to adapt, shift, change, become more polished, more intellectual, more professional, less weird, more something.
The thing about full circle moments is they show us how far we’ve travelled and I was pleased to turn up knowing I was enough and the doubt didn’t get a foothold.
Mary didn’t ask me to be anything other than exactly who I am. They celebrated my way of doing things. They made room for the engagement, expression and connection that flows through my creative explorations. We complemented each other. We didn’t need to be the same, and were totally aligned.
The true gift was working alongside humans I genuinely respect, but also to experience the joy of being open to learning new ways of doing things. When you get out of your own head and step away from doubts you can appreciate how someone else frames a story, holds a room, shapes a space.
When we live inside our own way of doing things and spend countless hours trying to explain it or justify it, it’s easy to forget we all carry our own signature way, rhythm, interpretation, and unique view of our work or craft. We don’t need to apologise for doing things our own way.
These past few weeks I’ve been reminded that while I love consulting it can feel like something is missing. When I return to my foundations of facilitation, art therapy and creative process it always feels like coming home.
So I’m coming back to my old friend (not that they went too far): creative exploration. Celebrating it is exactly how I help people engage, connect, discover, express and learn.
What a beautiful thing to be reminded of.
So here’s my question for you: have you ever been asked a question that still sits with you years later? Or perhaps you’ve had a full circle moment when you realise you’ve stopped apologising for doing things your way?
Bel x
Every Sunday afternoon, Bel sends the Ignite community a personal note of encouragement – reflection, inspiration, stories, and sharing. It’s our way of helping you prepare for the week ahead. Add your details here to receive Here’s The Thing in your inbox.